"I think about how much I miss him, and start to feel sorry for myself.....but then I think about all the people who never got the chance to meet him, and I start to feel sorry for them."
I don’t know who wrote this quote, but I do know the meaning that it conveys. This time of the year always seems colder to me, always feels empty. I drag my feet around, my shoulders slumped, my eyes always watery, and I wish I could just see your face, and hear your voice one more time. I wish I could just stand next to you on stage, and hear you scream that you Love our band one more time. That I could just pick up the phone to call you and hang out.
My heart is heavy, and we all know why, we feel that familiar burn when we cry.
The days will always be brighter
Because you existed
The nights always darker
Because you’re gone
Time only heals the wounds we allow it to heal. Some sorrows only fade when our hearts stop beating. This sorrow that is illuminated on days like today, will only heal the day I depart from this world, and enter the heavenly gates.
The pain doesn’t get easier it doesn’t go away. Perhaps we only get used to it, perhaps the pain is so numbing that we simply must adapt to a life that is a little bitter. Our heart is still broken, and although sometimes it feels like we have better days, the truth is our heart will never fit together the way it did before.
Kevin James Brasil Caetano would be 28 years young today. I have no doubt in my mind that we would have celebrated together. All of us, sharing laughter, creating new memories, and reminiscing over old ones.
Today as a family, not just blood, but also the many friends we all hold near and dear as family, will celebrate in your honor. We will laugh, tell stories, and quietly and collectively shed a few tears. We will never forget the impact your 22 years of life, left on our world. Six years later, I still miss you more than a million words on a million pages could describe. I still look at the picture on my wall, and remember you every single morning.
Rest in Peace Brother! Have a Happy Happy Birthday up there in heaven surrounded by your grandparents, Tia Luzia, Tio Trajano, my Avó velhinha, Jeffrey, and all the other people this world has lost.
Ill end this blog with an Eskimo Proverb that I believe rings very true.
“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.”
Ill be looking up to the stars tonight Kevin, hoping they shine brighter than ever!